Lessons from swim class

“Life brings changes, many of which are foisted unrequested and unwanted upon us.”

I am always fascinated by what tremendous lessons exist in the most unlikely of places. This weekend’s swim class with my daughter was just such a place. Heading into the class, I remarked to myself how good my daughter was – she would always go straight into the class, no fussing or crying as we used to have with my son, just a brave girl ready to swim. Until this weekend…

 

Today was different

 

Sitting waiting for the class to start, she kept asking where her teacher was… the familiar face was nowhere to be seen. Sure enough, at the appointed hour, someone new turned up and made to take the class. My daughter took one look at him and shut down, staring at the floor and refusing to budge.

 

Having come off a long-haul flight that morning with just two hours sleep to my name, I was not in my most patient or forgiving of moods, and started out with an authoritative response, telling her rather than trying to persuade her to get in the pool. This went nowhere, of course, as she dug her heels in even further. I tried a softer approach, asking nicely – again nada. I resorted to bribing, offering a cake from the cafe afterwards if we did well. Zip. By this time, a good 10 minutes of the half-hour class had gone by, the teacher was losing interest and I was beginning to give it all up for lost. Then two things happened…

 

So what changed?

 

One, I spotted her former teacher running a class nearby, and two, another little girl turned up for the class. These simple things introduced two important new elements to the mix –

– familiarity – we already know and trust the old teacher

– a positive role model – this new little girl was straight in the water.

 

Having spotted the problem, the former teacher came over to say hi, and, armed with a watering can, she started splashing my daughter. My daughter thought that to be very funny, and started laughing, which immediately removed any stress from the situation and turned it into a game. Meanwhile, out of the corner of her eye, my daughter could see the other little girl in the water, and, now back in a positive state of mind, she wanted to join in. In less than a minute, she was in the water, kicking her feet and splashing, and the day was saved.

 

Lessons learnt

 

As always, I love to reflect on the leadership and self-development lessons one can take from such simple daily situations…

 

Never underestimate the importance of familiarity and trust 

I hadn’t registered how important familiarity with her teacher was for my daughter. She had clearly built up a huge level of trust and comfort with that teacher, which abruptly disappeared when faced with a new teacher.

 

Change is constant and often unexpected and unwanted

Life brings changes, many of which are foisted unrequested and unwanted upon us. The old teacher had left, it later transpired, and a new one had been assigned. We just have to accept that and get on with it. We have to be strong enough to take these changes in our stride and keep going.

 

Reframing the situation can break negative patterns and create positive new ones

Stuck in a negative loop upon seeing a new, unfamiliar teacher, my daughter couldn’t break out of her meltdown mood. Her old teacher coming along, pouring water on her and making it seem a game, reframed the situation, taking the sting out of it and easing my daughter into a position from which she was able to join her lesson.

 

Positive role models can make you change your own behaviour

Seeing another little girl in the water, enjoying her lesson, made my daughter keen to join, and anxious not to miss out. Once they were in and swimming together, they started laughing like old friends, and it was like the meltdown had never happened.

 

Heaven knows what we will face next week….

 

Thank you for reading.