“It was by being out of the game that my son was better able to appreciate how best to play when in it.”
Some takeaways…
- Make the most of the opportunity change gives you, instead of becoming caught up in feelings of negativity.
- Taking a step outside of your everyday position can help you see things differently.
- Take time away from the game to be better at playing the game.
Some thoughts on how to find a new perspective, and what that can do for your performance
A couple of weeks back, my son’s rugby team had their first tournament of the season, and with this being the year that they begin to play contact rather than touch rugby, excitement was running high for the first game. There were, however, eight players in our team for a seven-a-side game, so it was clear that everyone would need to take it in turns to be sub, and it was to my dismay that my son drew the first slot to sit out.
Confined to the sidelines for that first half game, it would have been easy for our enthusiasm to waver, but I wanted my son to stay positive for when he got on the pitch, so I suggested we try to analyse some of the play we were watching. It was an interesting dynamic – we had never watched 8-year old rugby together from the sidelines before. I often find myself trying to coach from the sidelines, like any overactive dad who mistakenly thinks he knows best, but I had never done it with him stood beside me. This gave us a new perspective. I was able to make the comments I usually make about moving up, moving back, following the runner, etc, but directly to my son as he stood beside me with exactly the same view of the game as me. Pardon the pun, but this was a game changer.
Suddenly, we were able to agree on how the line was spreading out unevenly or bunching too much, whether players were pushing up in support or not, why it is bad when people run backwards or zigzagging, and how it is best to position yourself for the way the game is going.
You’re not always missing out by sitting out
In the end, rather than my son missing out by sitting out, him being there on the sidelines actually gave him a new perspective. He was able to gain a spectator’s holistic, outside view of the game, rather than the limited, inside view he would usually have from being in it.
Going back into the game, he was then able to employ this new vision, and it was a joy to see him position himself better for passes, tackling and support.
Two points of learning
Two things strike me about this learning experience:
– it was by being out of the game that he was better able to appreciate how best to play when in it. When you are in the thick of things, exciting as it may be, it is nigh on impossible to get a holistic view of how the game should be played, and what your role is in it. You place yourself instinctively, and sometimes this works, but it is worth remembering that ‘the spectator has the best view of the game’. Being outside it lets you see it all as a whole, and affords you the space to evaluate your and others’ roles dispassionately. In the thick of the action, it can be hard to think, but stepping outside, even momentarily, can give you a clear head and help you find time to reflect. Turning this to a work example, I often find my best ideas come when I am away from the desk. This is when I actually have time to let my mind explore.
– you can’t hope for someone to see what you see unless you try to show them how it looks from your perspective. When we began playing rugby, I made efforts to record six nations games to try to show my son how the game was played. This had little to no effect, and I could never work out why, until I realised that 7- and 8-year old rugby bears almost no resemblance to the professional adult game. We could watch all the internationals I like, but it would make no difference. They are not relevant, and my son can’t tie them to his experience of playing the game. If I wanted him to have more idea of where best to place himself in his games, I had to show him his games. Suddenly, it began to make sense.
4 takeaways
Here are my takeaways from this simple story:
Make the most of the opportunity change gives you. Instead of being down about being subbed, use the opportunity for what it can offer you.
This gives you a chance to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes you have to take a step outside of your everyday position to see things differently. A different view gives you the chance to change how you think about the world.
If you are trying to coach someone, taking them out of their usual seat and showing them your and others’ views of the world can help you both see things from a shared perspective. It can be difficult to coach alternative behaviours in particular situations if the coachee is so deep into that situation that they can’t see where anyone else is coming from. Let them see different views of the world, including yours, and suddenly they will find themselves better placed to take on external advice.
Take time away from the game to be better at playing the game. Stepping out of the game for a short while can be just what is needed to give you a better view of the game. In a work context, try being away from your desk for a short while – the perspective you gain will change how you perform when you get back to it.
Thanks for reading.